I don't know where to start...
It's difficult to start something, but I need this for me, and I need this for you... I am overwhelmed. Drowning in life. I can't get out, I can't get up... I just keep floating, and struggling... grasping one frail lifeline that breaks and I struggle to find another... It's an ongoing struggle. I do not remember a time when it was any different. Unwanted at conception. Given away at birth. Never adopted, just existed. Terrified of people, manipulated into thinking everyone disliked me and could never be a friend from day 1. Raised with an unstable household. Moved frequently due to being in a military "family". Verbally and mentally abusive "family". Mentally ill and physically violent "brother". Just barely missed being sexually molested by a trusted "teacher". No real friends growing up. Because who wants to be friends with someone who can barely put a coherent sentence together or make eye contact....